My Trip Home 2

I also spent my birthday in Utah. On Sunday night, my birthday eve, I went up to Salt Lake to Dave's apartment. We had a few drinks with some friends and Dave's boyfriend. Then we all went to the Trap Door for Latin night. I was happy that Dave came because lately he's not been very excited about clubbing but he agreed to go because it was my birthday. It wasn't quite like the old days, but I still had a great night. They let me in the club free because it was my birthday. Then I ran into Todd. He has sort of a monopoly on the gay clubs in Salt Lake. Well he likes me so he got a shot for all my friends and I got drinks all night long. The music was great, they played a lot of my favorites including Shakira. I ran into an old friend Derrick who turned out to be my birthday makeout, so that was fun. The next day which was my birthday I went to lunch at Taco Bell(I had been craving it for a month while I was in Peru) and the Fantastic Four with my newest fag hag Marie. We stopped for a free Slurpee at 7/11. For dinner I had a BBQ at my house with my family. We had lots of good food with a few of my favorite salads that I had missed. It was a fun time with my family, though in the back of my mind I knew things would never be the same between us.

Sure enough, later in the week I came out to my family. I knew I was ready for them to know. I wish I would have had the courage to do it when I was younger but I wasn't living on my own or confident enough to do it earlier. I almost lost the courage this time. I decided to tell Katie first, since we are the closest. I thought she would be fine with it, or more accepting than anyone else. Boy was I wrong. She was the most preachy of all my family. Let's just say that apparently she thinks very highly of the Church and doesn't want me to live in sin. All this while she was crying. It was awful causing her so much pain. I wish I could make her understand that everything she believes is a lie but I guess that's for her to discover. I went up to Salt Lake to stay with Dave and let Katie have some time to digest it. The next morning I came home and she wanted to talk more. She had skipped work the night before because she was so upset. She wanted me to tell my parents right away. They were on there way to California to visit my uncle. I told her I would call them when they got to California. I went to lunch with Marie and Katie called me to say she had told my parents and they were driving home tonight to talk to me. I called my parents and tried to get them to turn around and go back to California, but they insisted on talking to me in person. Before they arrived my brother came over and I told him what was going on so he wouldn't be surprised when my parents came home. He told me I was too intelligent to think being gay was right. I told him exactly I am intelligent. I know who I am. He left because he didn't want to be around when my parents came home. My parents arrived and we sat in the living room and talked about my decision to leave the Church. My mom cried, but my dad was calm, asking me questions about why I believed the way I did. It wasn't too painful. I talked to them for about an hour then had my friend come pick me up and take me to Salt Lake. I stayed with Dave until I left Utah on Sunday. I suppose by now all my family knows. Everyone has said they still love me but will never understand why I "decided" to be gay. I can only hope in time they will see things from my point of view. I guess I'm glad they know now. At least I won't be living a lie anymore. I just feel like I've given up my family. Things will never be the same between us. I don't want to have much to do with them anymore. Even Katie seems like a stranger to me now. Oh well, I'm in Ohio now and they don't matter right now. I'll give them time.

I have to thank Dave for all he did for me. He was great. I'm so glad I met him almost two years ago now when I was first going out in Utah. He helped me so much this trip when I needed support and encouragement. I know we will always be friends no matter how far apart we live or who we're dating. When we were together on this trip it felt like we hadn't been apart for 6 months. We just picked up right where we left off. We'll always be Dave and Dave.