Thanks to all the people who leave comments on my blog. Elbow left this comment on my blog: "I think that leaving the Church is just as huge as coming out to your parents." It made me think about my reasons for leaving the Mormon Church and I decided to create a post about it since I've already talked about coming out to my parents.
It's kind of hard for me to explain just how big a deal it is to leave the church. I was raised Mormon until I left home at 23, so it's all I knew growing up. My parents and seven siblings are all still in the church and believe that I will not be able to live with them forever if I don't follow the teachings of the church. It is a huge disappointment to them that I no longer attend church or have a testimony(belief that the Mormon Church is true). When I go home I feel like an outsider with my family members.
At the same time for me it was not a big issue at all. I never developed a testimony like so many other gay Mormons out there, so I didn't have to ever reconcile my testimony with my feelings for guys. Not that I didn't go through a period of self-doubt and wishing I could be straight and normal, but that didn't take too long to resolve. It just didn't make sense to me that the church could teach that acting on gay feelings could be wrong since I didn't choose to be gay.
Eventually I came up with the plan that as soon as I came home from my mission and moved away from home that I would stop going to church. When I moved to Ohio in 2004 I went to church here for about two months and then I found gay friends to hang out with so I stopped going to church because I didn't need the instant friends that I gained by going to church. I also had to stop caring about what my Mormon classmates thought about me, which wasn't that hard since I had just met them a couple of months prior. As soon as I was ready to not care about what my family thought of me, I came out to them and told them what I thought of the church. I knew I had to do it because making them happy was not worth lying to them anymore. I am really happy with my decision to come out to them. I am so happy now that I don't have to waste my time going to church. I still believe in God and will always try to be a good person, but I don't need to go to church to do that.
1 year ago