You Know You're From Utah when...

You Know You're From Utah When...

Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange. You can pronounce Tooele. The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. You have actually eaten funeral potatoes. You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month. You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot". Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. Hunting season is a school holiday. The largest liquor store is the state government. You can go skiing and play golf on the same day. 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist. You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'. The elevation exceeds the population You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you You can see the stars at night You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever." You were an aunt or uncle before you were three. Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out.. You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football. You drink Coke from a brown paper bag. You consider a temple recommend a credit reference. You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant. There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots. You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer. You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe. You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting. You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times. Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal. A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election. Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit. Sandals are the best-selling shoes. You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic." Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon. You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore. You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school. You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth. You're on your own if you are turning left. Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season. People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees. There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing. The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift. People drive to Idaho to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery. In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl. Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday. You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building. The cost of living rises while your salary drops. Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck. When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard. Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher. Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction. "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check. More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood. You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door. Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from. You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception. You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries. Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall. Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie. You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen. You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million. You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.

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Sarah's Weekend Visit

I wanted to put up a quick post while I take a break from studying for my GI test on Friday.

This past weekend Julie's friend Sarah who we stayed with on our trip to DC came up to Columbus to visit. She is hilarious, so we had a great time. We went to Brazenhead on Friday night for apple martinis, then to Axis where we did some booty droppin' and got our free CD. On Saturday we went to eat at BD's Mongolian BBQ and then to Spice Bar. Julie's brother came down from Cleveland to hang out with us too and kept buying me shots. On Sunday we went to an all-you-can-eat German buffet in German Village that was delicious. I had my fill of sausages, meat loaf, mashed potatoes and gravy and apple sauce. After dinner we went to have a few drinks at Zeno's. Kip came back from Pennsylvania on Sunday night so on Monday Kip, Julie, Sarah and I went to Union Station for lunch before Sarah left for the airport.

I love you, Sarah!

Brokeback Mountain

Others have already posted about the movie theater in Utah that decided against showing Brokeback Mountain but I wanted to add my two cents on the matter since I haven't blogged in a while. Thanks to Chris for emailing me some quotes about this issue.

So Larry H. Miller, a prominent Utah businessman decided to pull Brokeback Mountain from his movie theater that had been set to show the movie. The ensuing media attention caused the only theater(a small artsy theater) in Utah showing Brokeback to get a lot of business. The GLBT community in Utah called for a boycott of all of Miller's businesses(which includes the Delta Center where the Utah Jazz play). Heath Ledger even spoke out about this issue: "I heard a while ago that West Virginia was going to ban it. But that's a state that was lynching people only 25 years ago, so that's to be expected. Personally, I don't think the movie is (controversial) but I think maybe the Mormons in Utah do. I think it's hilarious and very immature of a society. If two people are loving . . . I think we should be more concerned if two people express anger in love, than love."

I of course think that it's awful that Miller decided to pull the movie from his theater just because the movie is about a gay love story. Mormons aren't allowed to watch rated R movies(although this rule is kind of like drinking Coke, it's followed by a lot of Mormons but won't keep you from getting into the temple if you don't follow it), so if Miller was being a good Mormon and not showing the movie because it was against his beliefs he shouldn't show any rated R movies at his theater. He was just being a bigot. Still I don't see why it was made out to be such a big deal(although it turned out to be good for that little theater that got all the resulting business) because think of all the theaters that decided not to show Brokeback in the first place. We aren't calling for a boycott of all those theaters. It comes down to what the theater owners thought would be good business and in Utah showing a gay movie probably was seen as not good business. But I'm happy to report that the Cinemark 16 at the Provo Towne Center Mall is now showing Brokeback Mountain, so all those repressed BYU gay boys can drive down the street and see the movie.

I saw the movie with Kip(yes, we're back together) and enjoyed it a lot. It was amazing(and hot) seeing these two famous actors portraying a gay love story. It wasn't my favorite movie though because somehow I wasn't impacted as much as I thought I'd be, I didn't cry, for example. Still, I thought the scenery and acting were amazing. I was a little weirded out by seeing The Princess Diaries' Anne Hathaway and Jen from Dawson's Creek show their breasts but oh well. I'm glad the movie was made and that this powerful gay love story was brought into the mainstream.

Trip to New York City

I got back last night from a fun trip to New York City for New Year's. I drove with Chris and Nate in my car on Thursday, arriving at about 8:30 PM to our hotel which was right off of Times Square. The drive was great until we had to wait in traffic at the Lincoln Tunnel. Thursday night we hung out in Chelsea after meeting our friend Will in the hotel. We ate at an Italian restaurant and then had dessert at another place called Rafaella's with two of Chris' friends. On the way we passed by Sarah Jessica Parker's brownstone apartment, so that was cool. We got to bed early at around 2:00 AM since we had had a long day of driving and knew that Friday would be a long day.

On Friday we ate lunch at a pizza place with some of Chris' blogging buddies. Then Chris, Will and I headed to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the Van Gogh drawings. It was fun to see all those works of Van Gogh. I wish we would have had more time to see the rest of the art in the Met, but we had to rush off to meet our other friends from Columbus(Rob, Aaron, Sanjida, Amy, Donny and Steve) for dinner. Dinner was at a delicious Cuban restaurant called Havana. No one wanted to split the paella with me but I had to get it even though it was really expensive. Chris and I shared a pitcher of delicious strawberry mojitos. The paella was amazing(as good as I've had in Spain) but I could only eat half of it, but I took the rest back to the hotel. After dinner most of use went to see Avenue Q. It turned out to be a really fun musical. There was especially one song that I really like called "There's a Fine, Fine Line." After the musical we went back to our hotel to get ready to go out. We got our drink on with rum and coke and then headed to Opaline on 39th. It was an awesome club with five floors and lots of people. We had a fun time dancing until we left at about 3:30 AM.

We woke up late on Saturday morning and Will and I rode the subway to meet everyone for lunch at a sushi place on 7th and Christopher St. We sang Sanjida happy birthday and the brought her a cake with a candle on it. The food was delicious. It was snowing/sleeting by the time we left. I stopped at Jamba Juice to get a Mango-a-Go-Go drink while everyone else went to Starbucks. Then Aaron, Chris, Will, Sanjida and I headed to Ground Zero. There's not much to see except for a big hole in the ground, but I'm glad I got to see it and reflect on what happened there on September 11th. We headed back to the hotel to relax and get warm before going out for New Year's Eve. We walked to the end of our street and listened to a band play and saw the crowd at Times Square so we could at least say that we had done that, although Aaron and I and apparently Sanjida wanted to come back to watch the ball drop. We headed out to dinner which ended up being at a tavern with Middle Eastern food. I enjoyed my chicken kebabs. We split from the other group after dinner and headed to a house party of one of Aaron's friends. The party was fine but I didn't know anyone but Aaron, Chris and Will and had no interest in the guys that kept talking to me about stuff I didn't care about. I also wasn't drinking because that morning I had decided to eat the rest of my paella from the night before after it had sat out all night and so my stomach was a little upset(but it was totally worth it because it was so good, even cold). I also knew I had a long drive ahead of me the next day and didn't want to have to do it hungover. One of my goals though was to drink a glass of champagne on New Year's and I did get to do that for the first time ever. I found out that Sanjida and everyone else had gone to Times Square and I regretted not going there to see the ball drop. It was a little ridiculous seeing the ball drop in New York City on a TV screen instead of in Times Square. I got back to the hotel room after an interesting cab ride at about 2:00 AM. I didn't sleep much though because everyone kept coming in and leaving the rest of the night as people arrived home, packed their bags and left for the airport.

I drove back with just Nate since Chris is going directly to Connecticutt for work. We got lost trying to get on I-76, but other than that we had a nice trip, arriving home at about 7:00 PM. I was glad I got to spend time with my friends in New York City for New Year's. I only wish Mathiew and Kip were there like they were supposed to be and that I had gone to Times Square for New Year's Eve. Time will tell if 2006 is better than Jan 1st was.