Dave's Birthday

On Wednesday night Dave and I drove up to Salt Lake to go to karaoke night at the Trap, one of the gay clubs in Salt Lake. I love going there on Sunday nights because they play Latin music, but tonight we were just going to sing songs and get drunk. And we did, thanks to drinks beforehand at CJ's and vodka Jello made by Dave's friend Saia. Dave and I sang "I'll Cover You" and "The Boy is Mine" and were backup singers for a lot of the other people doing karaoke. We had lots of fun and brought Dave's birthday in with a bash. We slept over at CJ's house, and when I got home I got lectured by my dad for not telling them that I was not coming home.

On Thursday night for Dave's birthday he wanted me to take him grocery shopping at Walmart since he doesn't have a car. Then we went to the gym for three hours, working out for two hours and sitting in the hot tub/pool for an hour.

We also went out Friday night to the Sound. It opened since I moved away, but I've been there once for New Year's Eve last year. It was a fun night. There was a drag show and the music is really fun there, a nice change from Axis' music. It was fun to dance and get crazy with Dave again. He smuggled in a bottle of Smirnoff in his sock and we bought some Sobe at the club so we could mix it in the bathroom. We are so cheap, I love it. I'm so glad Dave and I are still best friends even though I live so far away and that I got to be here for the start and end of his birthday.

Home for the Holidays

I arrived in Salt Lake at around 10:00 PM last Saturday. I could definitely tell I was flying to Salt Lake because half of the plane was filled with hot young guys. The disturbing part was that it seemed like they all had their Books of Mormon with them. The guy next to me read his the whole way from Phoenix to Salt Lake.

My sister picked me up from the airport. She brought her boyfriend with her so I got to meet him. They're planning on getting married next May. They just met last July. Mormons typically move really fast. He seems nice. She seems happy though so that's good. Pretty soon I'll be the only non-married one of all my siblings. Looks like I'll be taking another trip back here in May. I got home and said hi to my parents before going to bed.

My dad made waffles on Sunday morning and asked me to go to church with them. I told him I would go next week on Christmas, but I wasn't going today. While they were at church I went to the store and visited my best friend Dave. It was good to see him again. I was glad I didn't have to go to church when I didn't want to like I had done for so long.

Things are going well with my whole family. It seems pretty normal, like before I came out to them. I'm glad they've had time to get used to the idea. My nieces and nephews are totally cute. I went shopping with my sister-in-law which was a lot of fun. I got to talk about my life in Ohio, which my other family members don't really ask me about. I think they kind of block out the fact that I'm gay, which is how they deal. But Sage told me some family secrets that were pretty surprising. Just goes to show we're not the perfect Mormon family like everyone tries to portray. Although things seem back to normal with my family I don't really like hanging out with them for too long. I'll be excited to go back to Ohio. It makes me not very excited for Christmas this year.

Last night I went with my parents and my sister and her boyfriend to Salt Lake to eat at Crown Burger and see the Christmas lights at Temple Square. Dinner was fun but I didn't like walking around the temple because it reminded me of all the things I don't like about the church. For example, I won't get to see my sister get married because it will be in the temple, and only Mormons who follow all the rules of the church are allowed to go in. Everyone was coupled up and I couldn't help but think how I wouldn't be able to hold hands with a boy there. Utah can be fun but I haven't been able to go out yet. Hopefully tonight Dave and I will go out with some of his friends up in Salt Lake.

Update on the Provo High GSA

The Provo High School Gay-Straight Alliance that I talked about here
and here is in the newspaper again. This time a state senator wants to introduce a bill in the next Legislative session to ban the club. One of his arguments is this:

In my mind, if you are in the chess club, what do you talk about? Chess. If you are in the dance club, what do you talk about? Dance. If you are in a gay club, what do you talk about? I just don't believe members of sexual orientation clubs should be sanctioned by the public schools — what they are talking about even a part of the public schools. They should not be allowed to have that on school property at all. It's just wrong.

You can read the rest of the article for all the arguments for and against this proposed bill. I don't think it will stand up in court and that the club will still be able to meet. Just goes to show you how messed up some people's(i.e. Mormons) view of sexual orientation is.

On Saturday I'm heading home to Utah for Christmas. I'll be there for ten days. I hope I survive. And although I love my family, I can't wait until I'm back in Ohio.

[Update]
The governor of Utah gives his opinion on the proposed bill.

Survivor: Guatemala finale

Last night was the Survivor finale. The final three were Danni, Rafe and Stephenie. Rafe and Steph should have taken Lydia with them to the final three so that either of them would have won the last immunity challenge, then taken the other to the final two. Rafe went behind Steph's back and made a promise to Danni that he would take her to the final three, so Lydia was voted out. At the challenge Rafe was the first out and it came down to Steph and Danni and the way the challenge was set up Danni won because she was so tall, she had no problem leaning against the pole. It was heartbreaking to see Steph give it her all but finally fall down. Rafe was a good sport and told Danni she didn't have to take him to the final two even though she promised him she would. I was so close to having my dream finale of Rafe and Steph. Danni decided to take Steph with her to the final two because she thought she had a better chance of winning against Steph because Steph had backstabbed so many people. I had mixed feelings about Steph being in the final two over Rafe but I have loved Steph ever since Palau, so to see her make it to the final two was awesome. I just wish she could have gone with the gay Mormon that played an amazing game. But it is Rafe's fault that Danni won the last immunity challenge and he was the first one out of the challenge, so I think Steph deserved to be in the final two. Unfortunately, the jury voted Danni the winner. What a disappointing end to my favorite season of Survivor. Steph deserved to win. Maybe she'll be back for another season.

SSA should not mean Same-Sex Attraction

I take a pause from posting about my personal life to bring you this article from my home state's newspaper.

Gives you some insight into the way the Mormon church works. I'm so glad this didn't happen to me as much, but my heart goes out to others out there who are struggling as Matis did. I hate how the Mormon Church labels being gay as SSA to make it sound like a disease that can be cured. Also check out the part that says,

After a sacred experience Fred says he had in the temple in the hours following their conversation with Stuart, he and his wife prayed together there and "turned Stuart over to Heavenly Father." The details are too personal to recount, but a certain peace came to them, they said.

Basically this poor man's parents let him commit suicide after receiving inspiration in the temple that it was ok to let him go. How scary is that! I personally don't think God was behind that.

I bet I know what a favorite gift among my family will be this year for Christmas.

SSA really stands for sulfosalicylic acid and is used to test for protein in the urine. (I'm studying for my Renal exam.)

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

Survivor fans will recognize the title of this post from that reality show. I am a huge Survivor fan. This season the players are in the Guatemalan jungle. There're two characters in particular that I like-Rafe, a gay Mormon and Steph, who I fell in love with when she was on Survivor:Palau(they brought her back this season). I will be happy if either wins. For those who don't remember the premise of Survivor, 16 people are put in a remote location, they learn how to cope with little food and water, going through a series of competitions and voting off one person each show until the last two people remain. At that point it's up to the jury composed of the last seven players voted off to choose the Survivor who is most deserving to win a million dollars. We are now down to five players, Judd being voted off at the last tribal council.

Lately I can't help but feel like I'm playing my own version of Survivor. The winner earns the chance to be with Kip, a prize I'd much rather have than a million dollars. There are only two players in this version of Survivor. We both have different factors working in our favor. I happen to live in the same state as Kip, for example. The other player got the advantage this week, but it's far from over.

It's getting down to the nitty gritty and I'm trying to keep myself from getting paranoid like so many Survivor players do. I have no idea how this will ultimately end and it's tearing me apart. I wish the other player would realize that he needs to step away from the game. Everyone has their first love that they feel like they want to be with forever, but he needs to move on and let Kip be happy. In the meantime I'm giving Kip the space he wants, hoping the time we shared was enough to help him see I'm the one he should choose.

Many of you probably think I shouldn't wait around for Kip while he decides who he wants to be with. But this week apart has shown me even more that I don't want to be without Kip, I like him too much. He makes me so happy when we're together. I know he's going through a rough time right now and I need to give him the time he needs to work through it all.

I prefer watching Survivor on TV where my own feelings aren't involved. The winner of Survivor:Guatemala will be decided mid-December. I think I'm gonna have to wait longer than that to see who wins Survivor:Ohio.

Still dealing

Ok maybe I'm being too emotional about this whole thing, but I still can't stop thinking about him and crying. I'm trying to figure out how to get over the man of my dreams dumping me for no good reason.

Julie has to keep demanding that I not contact him until Day 3...which is tomorrow. But I already slipped up yesterday and texted him a few times. Maybe there's hope in the future for us, but how do I get through this time when I'm still dealing with the breakup? I miss him.

Goodbye, Love

Getting your heart broken really sucks. The thought of not being with him makes my stomach hurt and my eyes water. I've never really had this happen to me before. Usually I'm the one to break up with the other person. I've never felt so strongly for anyone in my life. He was as close to the perfect guy as I could have hoped for. I knew I wanted to be with him for a long, long time. We had so much fun together.

I wish I was an amazing enough person for him get over all of his issues and decide to be happy with me, but I'm not. Maybe some day if I keep working, I'll be that kind of a person. Until then it's back to being single. I don't know how I can ever be happy in a relationship with someone else.

We're talking again today after class, but I know it's going to be our last conversation as a couple. It's so painful to know how much this person cares for me, yet not want to be in a relationship with me. I wish he could have realized what he's giving up. Maybe one day he'll come around and we'll be able to be together. Excuse me while I go throw up.

Four Years Since My Mission

Being allhookedup's number one outgoing link is a lot of pressure for such a novice blogger as myself. But it is exciting knowing that people are reading my blog. So to not keep my readers waiting I decided it was time for my next post.

Monday, Nov. 21st, marked four years since I returned from my two-year mission from Spain. It made me think a bit about my experience and how much I miss Spain and the people I met while I was there. It also made me feel really old that I've been home twice as long as I was gone for. The mission represented a huge obstacle in my life that I had learing in front of me all through my teenage years. I knew that as soon as I got that part of my life over with I could finally start being the person I wanted to be. And slowly but surely I have made a lot of progress since getting back.

Reflecting on my mission always makes me think about whether or not I regret my decision to go. I went to keep my family proud of me and now, four years later the illusion that I created is now destroyed anyways. Was it really worth six more years of my family's approval? Definitely not worth it if that was the only thing I gained. I realize now that after leaving high school I should have been myself and not worry about what my family thought of me. But I don't think I was ready for that. I was really only ready to tell my family the truth after living in Ohio for a year. So I don't think it was worth making my family happy, but I did learn a lot about myself while I was out there. I learned how strong I was and that I could overcome anything that came my way. I mean who would have thought I'd be able to live without my family for two years just so that they would still love me? But two years passed miraculously and I was left with the good experiences that I had, while the bad experiences have largely faded from my memory. I loved seeing the sites and becoming fluent in Spanish. I also probably wouldn't think Shakira was so amazing. Living out of the U.S. gave me a whole different perspective on the world than I had before I left. So I don't really like to say whether or not I regret going, I just say that it happened and think about all the good things that came out of it.

I still keep in touch with several of my Spanish friends and have been back twice since I got home to visit them. After living there for two years it felt like my home away from home. I always miss Spain and know that I will return as often as I can throughout my life. My dream is to have own a house on the Cadiz coastline. We'll see what happens. Here's a picture of me in my mission clothes in a national park in Cadiz:



Someone asked for an update on Kip. I don't really want to talk too much about my relationship with him, but I will say that after a shaky weekend things are now really good between us again. We saw Rent on Monday and The Rocky Horror Show yesterday. We're going our separate ways for Thanksgiving but I hope that some day in the future we'll be spending the holidays together. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with.

Trip to DC

Since we had Friday off of school and we just finished our Cardio division, Julie and I decided to head down to DC for the long weekend. She had friends from college down there and my brother and his family had just moved there for the Air Force. I hadn't seen him or his two children for two years so I was excited to spend time with them, though a little nervous since I hadn't seen them since I had come out to my family.


On Friday morning I went sightseeing around the Mall with them and Julie and her friend Sarah. My brother was acting very stern the whole time and didn't iniciate one piece of conversation with me. It was so uncomfortable. Luckily the kids were cute and my sister-in-law was nice, but it hurt that my brother acted that way towards me when we had always gotten along well together in the past. Well my sister-in-law told me that I could come down for Thanksgiving but I told her I didn't think I'd be able to.

I was glad to see Julie get plenty of action. It was weird watching someone else hook up while I pined away for Kip back home. He forgot his phone charger in Ohio while he was in Pennsylvania visiting a friend. So not only did I not get any sex, I couldn't even talk to my boy on the phone. At least I don't have to hide anything from him so that feels good.

On Saturday we went to Charlottesville to see UVa where Julie went to undergrad. It's pretty down there. I had a good time hearing about Julie's college life, eating at some of her favorite places and learning about the history.

Nothing else too exciting really happened. I just had a fun time bonding with Julie and meeting her friends that I hear so much about. I'm glad I was able to go with her. It's gonna be hard to leave Kip for ten days though when I go to Utah for Christmas, besides having to be around my whole family for that long.

Elections

I'm proud to say that I voted yesterday, so I'm 3 for 3 in elections since I moved to Ohio. Things didn't go my way with Issues 2-5 which didn't pass but a lot of the Democrats won their races such as Lori Tyack(my friend Erik's roommate ran her campaign), Mary Jo Hudson(big lesbian) and Mary O'Shaughnessy(handed me Panera sandwiches after my triathlon this summer) plus Democrat governors won in Virginia and New Jersey so that's good.

Also yesterday the Provo District School Board passed a policy that will allow the Gay-Straight Alliance at Provo High School to continue meeting. What a pleasant surprise that the Board reacted this way instead of banning all noncurricular clubs.

Everything's coming up Dave

So my life has been going really well lately. I have lots of reasons to be happy. I reconnected with my sister-in-law Sage. She sent me a Halloween package with this funny note(which talks about giving blow jobs and stuff):

So I called her this week to thank her and we ended up talking for an hour. It was a great conversation and Sage filled me in on the family gossip and what they all think about me. The big topic of conversation was whether I drink or not since I was "such a big health nut". Well I informed her that I did, indeed, drink.

My other sister-in-law Darla finally wrote me back about me visiting them this weekend in DC. I haven't seen my brother or his family in over two years since they moved to Korea. I'm excited to go sightseeing with them on Friday.

But I guess the main reason why I'm so happy is because I finally met a guy that's worth settling down with and who wants to do the same with me. I could go on and on about how much I like Kip, but I think I'll spare you all and just say that I'm very lucky. Here's us with the pumpkins we carved on Halloween.

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Monday was Julie's 25th birthday. To celebrate a group of us from med school and Chris went to Martini's for yummy Italian food and martinis.



We love you, Julie!

Shakira's new album cover

Sony realeased the cover art for Shakira's new album:



Shakira looks hot as Eve.

This all-English album will be released on November 29th.

Shakira rocks!!

So I came across this article on shakiramedia.com:

To break the record or not to break the record -- that is the question on
Billboard's Hot Latin Songs chart, and it won't be answered until next week.
For now, Shakira and Alejandro Sanz have to be content with holding the
No. 1 osition on this chart for the 19th non-consecutive week with "La Tortura".

Since the all-time record for longest stay at No. 1 on the Hot Latin Songs tally
is the 20-week reign of "A Puro Dolor" by Son by Four in 2000, Shakira and
Alejandro could tie the record next week and surpass it in two weeks.

"La Tortura" is Shakira's fifth Latin chart-topper. "Ciega, Sordomuda" spent
three weeks on top, starting in November 1998. The follow-up, "Tu," led the
list for one week in February 1999. "Suerte" held sway for seven weeks,
starting in October 2001. "Que Me Quedes Tu" also had a lone week in pole
position, in March 2003.

I hope she does break the record because that song is amazing.

[UPDATE]

She did it! 21 non-consecutive weeks at Number 1!

Columbus Marathon

Yesterday I ran the Columbus Marathon. Today I'm trying to move as little as possible. My legs are killing me right now.

My mom came into town to watch me run. I made her stay in a hotel. I'm glad she did. I can only stand her in low doses. Not that she's not a nice person, she's just annoying at times. But I guess it was nice to have her support.

I woke up at 6:00 AM on race morning, got ready and headed over to my mom's hotel to pick her up. Julie was good to wake up bright and early and meet my mom and I at the finish line to drive us to the starting line. We arrived at around 7:00 AM. We stayed warm inside Starbucks until I went to find a bathroom. The line for the port-o-potties was way too long so I wandered down to the YMCA and thankfully was able to use the bathroom there. On the way back to Julie and my mom I saw Jared, Lindsay and Jen, Jared's sister. Jared, in my class, was also running the marathon. We had a joint carbo-loading party the night before. I left them to find my mom and Julie, which I did after a brief panic since they had moved outside. I gave them my warm clothes and went to the starting line right around the 7:00 minute/mile people.

I was a little bit rusty at the start, but after a couple of miles I was feeling really good and staying under my 3 hour target time pace. I found a group of three guys that I ran with until about mile 14. At the half marathon point I was at 1:27, three minutes under my target time, so I was really happy. Julie handed me a Gu packet and I continued on my way.

Coming up High Street, after I saw Mathiew, Jonathan, Ryan, Alison, Aaron, Chris, Chris, Zack, John and Beth, I started slowing down. After Lane Avenue there was an uphill until Dodridge. I didn't really pay attention to my pace, but right before Dodridge I saw that I was a minute or two over pace. I was upset, but by that time I was starting to feel tired. I tried to pick up the pace but I couldn't. Erika handed me a cup of my favorite Gatorade at the corner of Dodridge and High. Lindsay and Jen handed me Gu and an orange on Ackerman. Kip was waiting at around mile 20, then Julie and Mom were right before I turned down Lane. I continued to slow down, going 8-minute miles. It was discouraging when the 3:10 pace group passed me and I couldn't keep up with them. I saw Erik, Kristi and Alison on Neil, then Chris, Zack and John on Park. Don was right near the finish. By the end I was at 9-minute miles. I ended up going 3:15.44. I guess I needed to train more so I could keep up my pace for the whole marathon. I needed a 3:10 to qualify for Boston, which i did last marathon.

It was fun to give everyone a hug at the finish and have my mom meet all my friends. As I was finishing I was so happy. I knew I hadn't got my best time but I had finished another marathon, in my new hometown, with my new family helping me along the way. It was an amazing experience. Thanks to everyone who came to watch. I always had such a big smile on my face whenever I saw one of my friends. You helped me make it 26.2 miles. Next time I will break 3 hours and I hope you're all there to watch.

Forming a GSA in a Utah County high school

Oh no, what will those conservative Mormons in Happy Valley do now? Here's an article in the Deseret News about a student trying to form a Gay-Straight Alliance at Provo High School(one of my high school rivals).

Days update

So now that my test is over I've been able to start catching up on all my shows that I have DVRed.

Wednesday's Days of Our Lives was a great one. Austin is back looking hot as always and giving eveyone advice. Lucas got a cute haircut and was visiting his new niece in the hospital. He suggested they name the baby Kiki. Philip said that if it was a boy they were going to name him Luke after Lucas, so that was cute. Sami pulled all of her old wedding dresses out of her closet. There were three from failed Austin marriages, one from Franco, one from Brandon and one from Lucas, plus the one she was wearing. It was hilarious.

This is a great quote and the reason I love Sami so much: “I’m telling you Austin if that crazy bitch[Nicole] isn’t gone when I get out, I’m gonna tear her bloodshot eyes out.”

Mean Girl

I love this movie, and it's one of the few I happen to own. I don't think I'm really too much like Regina though, but oh well.


Regina George


Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sorry for not posting something substantial, but I'm going crazy right now with school. Hopefully I'll be better next week.

Happy Birthday, Chris!

Citizenship test

Sorry I haven't been keeping up on blogging, I had a week of practically no Internet in Minneapolis. I had an amazing week, and now I have to catch up on pulmonary for my test on Friday.

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?