Still dealing

Ok maybe I'm being too emotional about this whole thing, but I still can't stop thinking about him and crying. I'm trying to figure out how to get over the man of my dreams dumping me for no good reason.

Julie has to keep demanding that I not contact him until Day 3...which is tomorrow. But I already slipped up yesterday and texted him a few times. Maybe there's hope in the future for us, but how do I get through this time when I'm still dealing with the breakup? I miss him.

Goodbye, Love

Getting your heart broken really sucks. The thought of not being with him makes my stomach hurt and my eyes water. I've never really had this happen to me before. Usually I'm the one to break up with the other person. I've never felt so strongly for anyone in my life. He was as close to the perfect guy as I could have hoped for. I knew I wanted to be with him for a long, long time. We had so much fun together.

I wish I was an amazing enough person for him get over all of his issues and decide to be happy with me, but I'm not. Maybe some day if I keep working, I'll be that kind of a person. Until then it's back to being single. I don't know how I can ever be happy in a relationship with someone else.

We're talking again today after class, but I know it's going to be our last conversation as a couple. It's so painful to know how much this person cares for me, yet not want to be in a relationship with me. I wish he could have realized what he's giving up. Maybe one day he'll come around and we'll be able to be together. Excuse me while I go throw up.

Four Years Since My Mission

Being allhookedup's number one outgoing link is a lot of pressure for such a novice blogger as myself. But it is exciting knowing that people are reading my blog. So to not keep my readers waiting I decided it was time for my next post.

Monday, Nov. 21st, marked four years since I returned from my two-year mission from Spain. It made me think a bit about my experience and how much I miss Spain and the people I met while I was there. It also made me feel really old that I've been home twice as long as I was gone for. The mission represented a huge obstacle in my life that I had learing in front of me all through my teenage years. I knew that as soon as I got that part of my life over with I could finally start being the person I wanted to be. And slowly but surely I have made a lot of progress since getting back.

Reflecting on my mission always makes me think about whether or not I regret my decision to go. I went to keep my family proud of me and now, four years later the illusion that I created is now destroyed anyways. Was it really worth six more years of my family's approval? Definitely not worth it if that was the only thing I gained. I realize now that after leaving high school I should have been myself and not worry about what my family thought of me. But I don't think I was ready for that. I was really only ready to tell my family the truth after living in Ohio for a year. So I don't think it was worth making my family happy, but I did learn a lot about myself while I was out there. I learned how strong I was and that I could overcome anything that came my way. I mean who would have thought I'd be able to live without my family for two years just so that they would still love me? But two years passed miraculously and I was left with the good experiences that I had, while the bad experiences have largely faded from my memory. I loved seeing the sites and becoming fluent in Spanish. I also probably wouldn't think Shakira was so amazing. Living out of the U.S. gave me a whole different perspective on the world than I had before I left. So I don't really like to say whether or not I regret going, I just say that it happened and think about all the good things that came out of it.

I still keep in touch with several of my Spanish friends and have been back twice since I got home to visit them. After living there for two years it felt like my home away from home. I always miss Spain and know that I will return as often as I can throughout my life. My dream is to have own a house on the Cadiz coastline. We'll see what happens. Here's a picture of me in my mission clothes in a national park in Cadiz:



Someone asked for an update on Kip. I don't really want to talk too much about my relationship with him, but I will say that after a shaky weekend things are now really good between us again. We saw Rent on Monday and The Rocky Horror Show yesterday. We're going our separate ways for Thanksgiving but I hope that some day in the future we'll be spending the holidays together. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with.

Trip to DC

Since we had Friday off of school and we just finished our Cardio division, Julie and I decided to head down to DC for the long weekend. She had friends from college down there and my brother and his family had just moved there for the Air Force. I hadn't seen him or his two children for two years so I was excited to spend time with them, though a little nervous since I hadn't seen them since I had come out to my family.


On Friday morning I went sightseeing around the Mall with them and Julie and her friend Sarah. My brother was acting very stern the whole time and didn't iniciate one piece of conversation with me. It was so uncomfortable. Luckily the kids were cute and my sister-in-law was nice, but it hurt that my brother acted that way towards me when we had always gotten along well together in the past. Well my sister-in-law told me that I could come down for Thanksgiving but I told her I didn't think I'd be able to.

I was glad to see Julie get plenty of action. It was weird watching someone else hook up while I pined away for Kip back home. He forgot his phone charger in Ohio while he was in Pennsylvania visiting a friend. So not only did I not get any sex, I couldn't even talk to my boy on the phone. At least I don't have to hide anything from him so that feels good.

On Saturday we went to Charlottesville to see UVa where Julie went to undergrad. It's pretty down there. I had a good time hearing about Julie's college life, eating at some of her favorite places and learning about the history.

Nothing else too exciting really happened. I just had a fun time bonding with Julie and meeting her friends that I hear so much about. I'm glad I was able to go with her. It's gonna be hard to leave Kip for ten days though when I go to Utah for Christmas, besides having to be around my whole family for that long.

Elections

I'm proud to say that I voted yesterday, so I'm 3 for 3 in elections since I moved to Ohio. Things didn't go my way with Issues 2-5 which didn't pass but a lot of the Democrats won their races such as Lori Tyack(my friend Erik's roommate ran her campaign), Mary Jo Hudson(big lesbian) and Mary O'Shaughnessy(handed me Panera sandwiches after my triathlon this summer) plus Democrat governors won in Virginia and New Jersey so that's good.

Also yesterday the Provo District School Board passed a policy that will allow the Gay-Straight Alliance at Provo High School to continue meeting. What a pleasant surprise that the Board reacted this way instead of banning all noncurricular clubs.

Everything's coming up Dave

So my life has been going really well lately. I have lots of reasons to be happy. I reconnected with my sister-in-law Sage. She sent me a Halloween package with this funny note(which talks about giving blow jobs and stuff):

So I called her this week to thank her and we ended up talking for an hour. It was a great conversation and Sage filled me in on the family gossip and what they all think about me. The big topic of conversation was whether I drink or not since I was "such a big health nut". Well I informed her that I did, indeed, drink.

My other sister-in-law Darla finally wrote me back about me visiting them this weekend in DC. I haven't seen my brother or his family in over two years since they moved to Korea. I'm excited to go sightseeing with them on Friday.

But I guess the main reason why I'm so happy is because I finally met a guy that's worth settling down with and who wants to do the same with me. I could go on and on about how much I like Kip, but I think I'll spare you all and just say that I'm very lucky. Here's us with the pumpkins we carved on Halloween.

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Monday was Julie's 25th birthday. To celebrate a group of us from med school and Chris went to Martini's for yummy Italian food and martinis.



We love you, Julie!

Shakira's new album cover

Sony realeased the cover art for Shakira's new album:



Shakira looks hot as Eve.

This all-English album will be released on November 29th.

Shakira rocks!!

So I came across this article on shakiramedia.com:

To break the record or not to break the record -- that is the question on
Billboard's Hot Latin Songs chart, and it won't be answered until next week.
For now, Shakira and Alejandro Sanz have to be content with holding the
No. 1 osition on this chart for the 19th non-consecutive week with "La Tortura".

Since the all-time record for longest stay at No. 1 on the Hot Latin Songs tally
is the 20-week reign of "A Puro Dolor" by Son by Four in 2000, Shakira and
Alejandro could tie the record next week and surpass it in two weeks.

"La Tortura" is Shakira's fifth Latin chart-topper. "Ciega, Sordomuda" spent
three weeks on top, starting in November 1998. The follow-up, "Tu," led the
list for one week in February 1999. "Suerte" held sway for seven weeks,
starting in October 2001. "Que Me Quedes Tu" also had a lone week in pole
position, in March 2003.

I hope she does break the record because that song is amazing.

[UPDATE]

She did it! 21 non-consecutive weeks at Number 1!

Columbus Marathon

Yesterday I ran the Columbus Marathon. Today I'm trying to move as little as possible. My legs are killing me right now.

My mom came into town to watch me run. I made her stay in a hotel. I'm glad she did. I can only stand her in low doses. Not that she's not a nice person, she's just annoying at times. But I guess it was nice to have her support.

I woke up at 6:00 AM on race morning, got ready and headed over to my mom's hotel to pick her up. Julie was good to wake up bright and early and meet my mom and I at the finish line to drive us to the starting line. We arrived at around 7:00 AM. We stayed warm inside Starbucks until I went to find a bathroom. The line for the port-o-potties was way too long so I wandered down to the YMCA and thankfully was able to use the bathroom there. On the way back to Julie and my mom I saw Jared, Lindsay and Jen, Jared's sister. Jared, in my class, was also running the marathon. We had a joint carbo-loading party the night before. I left them to find my mom and Julie, which I did after a brief panic since they had moved outside. I gave them my warm clothes and went to the starting line right around the 7:00 minute/mile people.

I was a little bit rusty at the start, but after a couple of miles I was feeling really good and staying under my 3 hour target time pace. I found a group of three guys that I ran with until about mile 14. At the half marathon point I was at 1:27, three minutes under my target time, so I was really happy. Julie handed me a Gu packet and I continued on my way.

Coming up High Street, after I saw Mathiew, Jonathan, Ryan, Alison, Aaron, Chris, Chris, Zack, John and Beth, I started slowing down. After Lane Avenue there was an uphill until Dodridge. I didn't really pay attention to my pace, but right before Dodridge I saw that I was a minute or two over pace. I was upset, but by that time I was starting to feel tired. I tried to pick up the pace but I couldn't. Erika handed me a cup of my favorite Gatorade at the corner of Dodridge and High. Lindsay and Jen handed me Gu and an orange on Ackerman. Kip was waiting at around mile 20, then Julie and Mom were right before I turned down Lane. I continued to slow down, going 8-minute miles. It was discouraging when the 3:10 pace group passed me and I couldn't keep up with them. I saw Erik, Kristi and Alison on Neil, then Chris, Zack and John on Park. Don was right near the finish. By the end I was at 9-minute miles. I ended up going 3:15.44. I guess I needed to train more so I could keep up my pace for the whole marathon. I needed a 3:10 to qualify for Boston, which i did last marathon.

It was fun to give everyone a hug at the finish and have my mom meet all my friends. As I was finishing I was so happy. I knew I hadn't got my best time but I had finished another marathon, in my new hometown, with my new family helping me along the way. It was an amazing experience. Thanks to everyone who came to watch. I always had such a big smile on my face whenever I saw one of my friends. You helped me make it 26.2 miles. Next time I will break 3 hours and I hope you're all there to watch.

Forming a GSA in a Utah County high school

Oh no, what will those conservative Mormons in Happy Valley do now? Here's an article in the Deseret News about a student trying to form a Gay-Straight Alliance at Provo High School(one of my high school rivals).

Days update

So now that my test is over I've been able to start catching up on all my shows that I have DVRed.

Wednesday's Days of Our Lives was a great one. Austin is back looking hot as always and giving eveyone advice. Lucas got a cute haircut and was visiting his new niece in the hospital. He suggested they name the baby Kiki. Philip said that if it was a boy they were going to name him Luke after Lucas, so that was cute. Sami pulled all of her old wedding dresses out of her closet. There were three from failed Austin marriages, one from Franco, one from Brandon and one from Lucas, plus the one she was wearing. It was hilarious.

This is a great quote and the reason I love Sami so much: “I’m telling you Austin if that crazy bitch[Nicole] isn’t gone when I get out, I’m gonna tear her bloodshot eyes out.”

Mean Girl

I love this movie, and it's one of the few I happen to own. I don't think I'm really too much like Regina though, but oh well.


Regina George


Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sorry for not posting something substantial, but I'm going crazy right now with school. Hopefully I'll be better next week.

Happy Birthday, Chris!

Citizenship test

Sorry I haven't been keeping up on blogging, I had a week of practically no Internet in Minneapolis. I had an amazing week, and now I have to catch up on pulmonary for my test on Friday.

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Me as a blog component

After getting blasted for a recent post, here's something on the lighter side so I don't strike any nerves:

If I Were a Blog Component, I would be the DATE / TIME STAMP.
I love activities and I revel in day-to-day life.Which Blog Component Are You?
Take This Blog Quiz at About Web Logs!

Something good about BYU in the media

I recently bashed BYU for their anti-gay stance, but today I found out that BYU was named the nation's fittest college campus, so that makes me a little prouder that I graduated from there.

That is one good thing about my Mormon upringing-I was taught to always take care of my body. As I train for the Columbus Marathon, I thank my parents for teaching me that.

Letter to Gov. Schwarzenegger

A touching letter to Governor Schwarzenegger that I completely agree with.

California lawmakers legalize gay marriage

I happily read this in my daily New York Times email:

"California lawmakers on Tuesday became the first in the country to legalize same-sex marriage, with the State Assembly narrowly approving a bill that defines marriage as between "two persons" instead of between a man and a woman.

The 41-to-35 vote in the 80-member Assembly, which is controlled by Democrats, was along party lines, with no Republicans supporting the bill."

For those gay people who vote Republican because they "don't let their sexuality decide who [they] can vote for" (I heard this Saturday night) this is proof that Republicans do not support gay rights. How can you be gay and continue to support that party when they refuse to support gay marriage? It doesn't make sense to me, unless you hope we will never have the same rights as our heterosexual friends.

Let's hope Arnold will sign this bill into law. As for me, I'm California Dreamin' all over again.

So with this post I finally did one of the things that I set out to do last November.

[Update]

"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger will veto the bill permitting same-sex marriages, his press secretary said this afternoon.

Schwarzenegger had hinted that he would veto the bill. Even if he had signed it, it would have faced an uncertain legal future because of Proposition 22 in 2000, approved by 61% of voters. That ballot measure said: 'Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California.'"

That's upsetting, especially when I think of the millions of dollars the LDS Church put into the campaign to get Proposition 22 passed.

Embarrassed for BYU

Two lists from The Princeton Review of the nation's best colleges that have come out in the past week have made me again embarrassed that I went to undergrad at Brigham Young University. BYU was again named as the country's most stone cold sober school. Drinking does go on at BYU but you have to be really sneaky about it. I usually went up to Salt Lake to enjoy my non-sober nights.

The other list which is the more important issue is that according to the Princeton Review, BYU is in the Bottom 10 among universities' acceptance of the LGBT community. I completely agree with that ranking. I had a few friends that were kicked out of BYU when it was found out that they had participated in homosexual activities. I was very careful about not revealing my sexuality all through college for fear of being kicked out and losing my scholarship. I lived in a sort of constant fear of someone telling on me. I never signed on to gay.com while at BYU because I often heard that people working for the university would put up fake profiles on the site, search for BYU students and turn them into the Honor Code office when the students were discovered. I also heard that people would go up to the gay clubs in Salt Lake and search out the cars in the parking lots with BYU parking stickers and turn the drivers into the Honor Code office for discipline. Besides the threat of being kicked out of school, there is the issue that the student body is close-minded and does not understand what it means to be gay, although there are a lot of closeted Mormons at the school. If I had the chance to do it all again I would have gone somewhere where I could have gotten the same high quality education I received there, but also be appreciated for who I am. It's been amazing to come to Ohio State where nobody cares that I'm gay even among such a conservative profession. Now my friends love me for the person I really am, not some lie I created to fit in.

Long Days Update

Last night Chris and I saw Four Brothers. I liked it a lot. I sat by Erik and Kristi today. It was good to be back down near the front, paying attention and taking notes. After class I went with Julie and friends to W.G. Grinders. It's fun to eat lunch with med students now. I went to the pool today and swam and studied. I hope my legs get to feeling better so I can run the half-marathon on Sunday. The last two times I have gone running they have killed.

On Today's Show:
Sami visited Bonnie Lockhart to see if see could have her wedding reception at Bonnie's country bar Alice's. I love that place because whenever a scene takes place there they play country music. Trick Pony even did a performance on an episode last month. Bonnie agrees to have Sami's reception there. Before Sami leaves she has a run in with Mimi who came to tell her mom that she almost slept with Shawn D. Sami gave her a hard time over that before leaving.

Shawn helps Belle and Phillip get to the hospital so Phillip can be fitted for a prosthesis for his amputated leg. Shawn is finally accepting that he's lost Belle. Now Belle needs to get over Shawn. It's kind of backwards because it's Belle who's decided she can't be with Shawn. They talk about Shawn and Mimi's relationship and he says they are just friends. Shawn goes to use the pay phone. Sami sees Belle looking longingly at Shawn and they have a heart to heart. It was cute to see them talking again. Sami told Belle to get over Shawn. But Belle says she can't. Oh Belle is finally starting to show so that's fun.

Shawn calls Bonnie who offers him a job as a bartender. Mimi just asked for a job as a waitress so now the two of them will be working together. So I've often wondered why the characters always use the pay phone at the hospital instead of their cell phones. Shawn said that he'd call Bonnie on the pay phone since you're not allowed to use cell phones in the hospital. So that was interesting.

Hope arrives at the hospital and starts saying what a problem child Chelsea is. Billie defends Chelsea and Hope and Billie get into an argument. Billie lets it slip that Chelsea is their daughter. Bo says that they're at the hospital to confirm that. Hope apologizes. Billie and Bo receive the DNA test results. Billie opens the envelope and says, "I don't believe it."

Amnesia patients: 1 (Marlena, but I'm glad she wasn't on the show today)
Dimera hostage count: 0 (All the hostages were freed and now Tony is in jail)